• 1. My friends. 2. My family. 3. My house. 4. When its cold ooutside and your inside warm. 5. Nights watching Movies. 6. Coffee. 7. Deep conversations. 8. Butterflies when you see someone. 9. That feelng when your onstage. 10. Peanut butter and nuttella pancakes. 11. Becca and Georgia. 12. Feeling higher than everything. 13. Parties. 14. Meeting pretty people. 15. Sam. 16. Knit wear. 17. Memories. 18. Ialia conti. 19. Finishing something. 20. Laughing. 21. Summer. 22. Hyde park. 23. Starbucks. 24. Music. 25. Blonde hair. 26. High shoes. 27. Stars. 28. Lyrics 29. Getting on with someone you just met. 30. Emotion. 31. La roux. 32. Security. 33. Love. 34. Hate. 35. France. 36. NYC. 37. My dreams. 38. Fridays. 39. Wake up texts. 40. Late night conversations. 41. Feeling pretty. 42. Pictures. 43. Happiness. 44. Seeing people smile. 45. Things working out. 46. Late night car journeys. 47. Hotel rooms. 48. Christmas. 49. My birthday. 50. Getting a text from the person i want. 51. The blue smartie. 52. Ben and Jerrys. 53. Thigh High Socks. 54. Fear. 55. Thorpe park. 56. Welsh accents. 57. American accents. 58. English. 59. Creative writing. 60. Amersham and wycombe college. 61. The friends ive got left. 62. When a dress fits you. 63. Getting call backs. 64. Facebook photolikes and comments. 65. The like button. 66. Winter mornings. 67. Partys in the dark. 68. Scary movies. 69. Boys with pretty faces. 70. Pixie Lott. 71. Pretty Underwear. 72. When I paint my nails good. 73. Being drunk. 74. After party sleep. 75. Shows, and how everyone gets on. 76. Tai Chi night (L). 77. Funny people. 78. How blonde I go after my hair has just been bleached. 79. Cheneys mums skills with scissors. 80. Amazing weekends. 81. Picnics. 82. My diary. 83. Presents. 84. Surprises. 85. Nice hair. 86. Boys who smell nice. 87. Fierce cologne. 88. Flat caps. 89. Kisses under the covers. 90. 27 Dresses. 91. High tops. 92. Ice cream. 93. Strawberries. 94. The feeling you give me. 95. Mac cosmetics. 96. Abercrombie. 97. Looking individual. 98. Writing pretty songs. 99. Nights that you wished would last forever. 100. When my heart beats fast.
"She doesnt know i cry for the changing times,
That just as i reread my favourite books, some small part of me hoping for a different ending, I find myself hoping against hope that the war will never come. That this time, somehow, it will leave us be."

Saturday, 3 April 2010

So it happened, i finally got a place at Italia Conti,
its the one year course at Guilford, but i made the 12 year old girl inside me fucking proud

I did it, i fucking showed them all, i did it i got in.

But i don't know if i can go.

Have you ever had something in your reach
like a butterfly, it lands on your hand, its beautiful and unique and strange, but your so scared of it too because it looks kind of weird with its antennas and funny eyes, but you don't want to move. so you stay very, very still, and for that moment, you had the butterfly on your hand, it was beautiful and you feel beautiful, but then something moves, and it flies away and it leaves you feeling a bit empty inside.

That's how i feel.
For now its like the butterfly is here, and everything is pure bliss, but if i cant get funded 15k something will scare the butterfly away.
And ill have to stay here.

Comparisons are easily done
once you've had a taste of perfection.

I got my lip pierced,
I spent the last 24 hours at Andys
And im so fucking scared right now.

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